I have been told by the men upstairs that I need to tone down my gay bashing. Here at superteamsoccer.com our readership is made up of 22% gays. This percentage has dropped 12% in the last week. Does this bother them? Yes especially the people that fund this site. So now I must change who I am, and conform to those that think hits to a site are more important than freedom of speech. So in my effort to be nice to the gay community, I say this in regards to our very own Paul Taylor. Paul you are a really cool gay guy. I like your picture and the way the light touches your hair, its just heavenly. If I was gay, like you, I would totally want to grab a latté and watch Ellen.
Our little Karate Kid Koo will not be joining us for the rest of the season. While practicing his signature Crain Penalty Kick he broke his ankle. We would like to take a moment to sit back and reminisce about what this Korean wonder brought to this team. When I think of Koo Kim a flood of one memory comes to my mind. I remember when he never showed up to any games minus one. That one game we seemed to win. Was it because he was there? No, but he can go on thinking that at night as he has his gay lover rub icy hot on his ankle and spoon feeds him the latest yogurt because yogurt sounds like a food gays would like.
No one thought is was possible. Everyone thought he was a woman dressed in men’s clothing. Saturday the world was corrected. Joseph Cooley showed up to a game and played well. What brought this change? Here at Superteam we can only think it of one thing. He wanted to prove us wrong. We humble kneel before all that surf the web and say “we were wrong”. Although his actions in previous games spewed womanly features, he became a man last Saturday. During the shoot out many participants on Super Team decided to come out of the closet with their shots (Ben, and Jeremy), but not Cooley, he showed grace under pressure. Our hat goes off to you and remember who got you back on the heterosexual path; SuperTeamSoccer.com did. That is our job “we keep you straight cuz the gays we hate”.
Who is large and scary but rarely at a game?
The answer at the end of the post…
Do you know what really pisses me off? People who don’t call and let us know they will not be at the game. These types of people ought to shampoo my crouch. Is it that hard to pick the phone and say “hey I am a penis and cannot make it to the game”. No its not. Will I ever get tired of complaining of this problem with our team? No!
Answer: Grant Riddle. Really buddy lets call or go purchase some Pert Plus cuz that stuff tingles.
The game tomorrow has been cancelled do to adverse weather conditions. So we expect to hear from Josh Stewart about how it is a damn shame because he was really going to be at the game this time. Whatever Josh!
