I have been told by the men upstairs that I need to tone down my gay bashing. Here at superteamsoccer.com our readership is made up of 22% gays. This percentage has dropped 12% in the last week. Does this bother them? Yes especially the people that fund this site. So now I must change who I am, and conform to those that think hits to a site are more important than freedom of speech. So in my effort to be nice to the gay community, I say this in regards to our very own Paul Taylor. Paul you are a really cool gay guy. I like your picture and the way the light touches your hair, its just heavenly. If I was gay, like you, I would totally want to grab a latté and watch Ellen.
Our little Karate Kid Koo will not be joining us for the rest of the season. While practicing his signature Crain Penalty Kick he broke his ankle. We would like to take a moment to sit back and reminisce about what this Korean wonder brought to this team. When I think of Koo Kim a flood of one memory comes to my mind. I remember when he never showed up to any games minus one. That one game we seemed to win. Was it because he was there? No, but he can go on thinking that at night as he has his gay lover rub icy hot on his ankle and spoon feeds him the latest yogurt because yogurt sounds like a food gays would like.
No one thought is was possible. Everyone thought he was a woman dressed in men’s clothing. Saturday the world was corrected. Joseph Cooley showed up to a game and played well. What brought this change? Here at Superteam we can only think it of one thing. He wanted to prove us wrong. We humble kneel before all that surf the web and say “we were wrong”. Although his actions in previous games spewed womanly features, he became a man last Saturday. During the shoot out many participants on Super Team decided to come out of the closet with their shots (Ben, and Jeremy), but not Cooley, he showed grace under pressure. Our hat goes off to you and remember who got you back on the heterosexual path; SuperTeamSoccer.com did. That is our job “we keep you straight cuz the gays we hate”.
I am sure you have all heard of Rocky Ashton; you should, he plays for Superteam. In my most recent IM, Rocky told me that he would not be able to attend Game Seven. I was in shock and let me tell you why.
The informality of telling me through an instant message. I mean really where is the tact. Do I want to hear news like this in digital format? No. Grow some and come to me in person.
I was amazed that Rocky even used a computer. I mean really I think we can all remember his run at being goalie so I thought he might be a little special in the head and unaware of how to use technology.
When asked why he was not going to attend the game he said “going to a cabin with my gay friends” …
Soccer is such a hard sport. All of the running, kicking, passing, etc. I don’t know how we do it each Saturday. I can’t believe that some people, a small portion of people, actually play two maybe three times a week! I don’t know where they left their brain but they are purchasing a one-way ticket to death city with a life style like that. Lucky for us, all that is required to play for Superteam is one game a week. We don’t ask for much, and to be honest I understand why so few of the team members have signed up on the website. Talk about a pain in the @$$. After a long day of work, who would want to take the time to type their email address into a pre-made textbox and push send? The answer is no one. For those that have signed up on the website all I can say to you is get a life. But if you happen to have a spare moment, get off your lazy butt and sign up or you might not have your game card at the next …
